One of my friends asked me the following questions after she read my blog Chalk and Cheese :
Yes,a happy wavelength mismatch is definitely a positive thing.It just got me curious if it leads to “growing” on both sides and in the right sense what does “growing” actually mean.If one is trying to grow up to the other persons standards, then will one actually diminish the mismatch.
And my blab to her above questions is :
The happy mismatch is an end or temporary relief from a very chaotic, dark, confusing and scary period of time. At first all I could see was the mismatch and it scared the hell out of me. The fear stopped me from understanding or accepting him. In hindsight I see that then I thought that looking at his world his way would ruin or erase mine. In short, I felt threatened and the only way I got out of this situation was by growing.
Growing for me means lateral growth. I branch out and expand . The ability to peek into someone’s world and try to learn their logic , their language and letting them into my world to do the same . My experience till now is that you never get it right all the time. Somehow my partner takes me by surprise many a times. And I believe that happens because he is growing too, and at a much faster rate because he lets far more elements including me generously shape his world. I feel the moment the mismatch with my partner changed from unhappy to happy was just the beginning of an open minded adventurous life for me.