My Monkey Story

I had an unexpected experience in a resort in Munnar, India.

My daughter and I were sitting on the sofa in our rented unit on the third floor with the windows open. These were completely open slider windows with no iron bars or window grilles or a mesh screen blocking the view or in this case one can say the way.

I was immersed in my book  and was shocked out of it by a screech that I had never heard before in my life. It was my daughter screaming while madly bolting out of the room . What I saw next was a monkey jumping into the unit and grabbing a banana from the fruit platter on the corner table. There was another one right behind it, ready to jump in. I  rushed towards the monkeys shooing them away before slamming the window shut.

To my astonishment the second monkey stood tall right there on the other side of the window  looking alternatively at me and  rest of the fruits at the corner table. We both stood still on either side of the window sizing each other and our situation up. I was desperately thinking as to what to do next. My random thought was that if I took the fruit platter away from its sight while  it was  still watching it might come again and again thinking the fruit is still inside somewhere. So I just stood there looking straight into its eyes hoping to chase it away.

Suddenly I heard a rustling noise coming from my left. I turned to realize that it was another monkey peeking in through that window which I had presumed was closed but apparently it wasn’t. I leaped towards the monkey, shooing it away and slamming the window shut. I then quickly ran from one room to another checking if all the windows were closed. They were, but at one window I saw a much bigger monkey trying to open the window  as a human would do. I stood amazed at this sight.

At one level  I was marvelling at its intelligence and determination and at some basic  level  I was experiencing something primal. I was defending my young one and my territory from them. Somewhere there for few minutes it was two primates negotiating with each other.  I felt so charged and fearless as I had never felt before. As soon as everything looked under control I started trembling in the aftermath of my adrenaline rush.

Chalk and Cheese (contd)

One of my friends asked me the following questions after she read my blog  Chalk and Cheese :

Yes,a happy wavelength mismatch is definitely a positive thing.It just got me curious if it leads to “growing” on both sides and in the right sense what does “growing” actually mean.If one is trying to grow up to the other persons standards, then will one actually diminish the mismatch.  

And my blab to her above questions is :

The happy mismatch is an end or temporary relief from a very chaotic, dark, confusing and scary period of time. At first all I could see was the mismatch and it scared the hell out of me. The fear stopped me from understanding or accepting him. In hindsight I see that then I thought that looking at his world his way would ruin or erase mine. In short, I felt threatened and the only way I got out of this situation was by growing.

Growing for me means lateral growth.  I branch out and expand . The ability to peek into someone’s world and try to learn their logic , their language and letting them into my world to do the same . My experience till now is that you never get it right all the time. Somehow my partner takes me by surprise many a times. And I believe that happens because he is growing too, and at a much faster rate because he lets far more elements including me generously shape his world. I feel the moment the mismatch with my partner changed from unhappy to happy  was just the beginning of  an open minded adventurous life for me.

Chalk and Cheese

Sometime back I used to wish my life partner and I shared the same wavelength. Really wished to be as similar to each other as possible because I believed it would make living easy, life more comfortable. But lately I have come to appreciate our mighty differences because it has been the sole motivator for me to grow !! One of my friends told me that to bring change in one’s life or to learn something new one needs to be self motivated and that self motivation is hard to come by as you grow older. I agree. I have seen very very few self motivated people in my life! I for one definitely am not. So thanks to our differences which motivated and keep motivating me to grow. Amen to differences and growing!